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A writer is someone who writes. It sounds obvious, but many people who call themselves writers don’t produce enough words in a year to fill a postcard. Other writers churn out thousands of words but never sell their work. This book tackles both problems: it gets you writing, easily and painlessly guiding through the dreaded ‘writer’s block’; and it divulges industry secrets that will help you to raise the quality of your work to a professional level. There's one major difference between writers who get paid for their work and writers who only collect rejections. It's something that is easy to fix, and is revealed in this book. Writing is a business like any other. Successful writers know the rules and conventions that make their work stand out from the rest of the ‘slush pile’ – rules that are revealed in this book to help launch your writing career. This eBook edition includes active links to useful websites, including the author's site where there are free downloads of useful resources for writers. Also, clicking on any book, movie or author mentioned in the text will open a web page with more information. The author has 14 years experience in the publishing industry and has written more than 20 books that have been translated into 6 languages. He has also written for stage, film, television and radio.

 

This book is for all writers, in all genres, but most of the examples apply to book writers because they form the biggest single group. This book presupposes only that you want to be a writer. No previous experience is necessary. I’ll take you through all aspects of what it takes to be a professional writer in the publishing and media industries today. There are some harsh truths exposed in this book and many myths will be shattered. The reality of writing is not what many people believe it to be. Some of these chapters may surprise or disappoint you. Use this book as a reality check before embarking on a career as a writer. Use it to inspire you to achieve high standards, greatness and professionalism. Without those you have nothing. With them you can conquer the literary world.

 

Cinematic writing is an exercise in minimalism. If you adapt a 120,000 word novel into a two hour screenplay you’ll have to re-tell the story in less than 30,000 words. This is because cinema is a visual medium. The pictures tell the story. There’s no opportunity to describe what is happening inside a character’s head like there is in a novel (actually you can do it, using voiceover, but let’s not get complicated right now), so it’s more important than ever to be able to show the audience what is happening. An agonised facial expression on screen might be the equivalent of a page of description in a novel in which the character’s thoughts are spilled out for the reader. Film also doesn’t allow the luxury of long conversations that are frequently found in novels. The dialogue must be crisp and punchy. If the average length of a speech is more than two lines then your script is in trouble. If your dialogue extends for pages and pages with no action, then again your film is too static and needs more action. By action I don’t necessarily mean car chases or explosions. Action can be picking up a pen and playing with it suggestively. It could be an instruction for the actor to change facial expression or sit down. These things are tools with which to tell your story and are just as important as dialogue. A correctly laid out page of film script equates to about a minute of screen time, so the number of pages you need to write is the same as the number of minutes in a movie. Most feature films are 90 to 120 minutes long, so a script of 90 to 120 pages is the right length. Commercial, successful films follow a formula that is very rigid. Most audience members in a cinema won’t be aware of the structure, but once you know how the stories work you can predict plot twists almost to the second. There’s a free Word document that you can download from my website which contains the standard formula for a Hollywood movie. Just write your own story into the plot boxes according to the instructions and you’ll have a perfect structure. Just go to . . .

 

During many years as a publisher I’ve rejected books because they were similar to books that had just flopped, and I didn’t want to risk losing more money with another book like it. I’ve declined books on the grounds that my acquisition budget is fully allocated for the foreseeable future (which meant that we’d run out of money and couldn’t pay any more advances or print bills for a time). I’ve said no to writers because despite my personal interest in the book others in the company have persuaded me not to publish it. I’ve had to reject authors who are quite clearly mad and unprofessional in their approach and who would be too much effort to deal with. Sometimes the rejections have been because we had already decided to produce a similar book either in-house or using our existing author contacts. Or it could be that I’d decided on a change of direction and was no longer interested in commissioning new titles in a particular genre which I felt wasn’t right for my company. I’m sure there are editors out there who have rejected books simply because they’re having a bad day and want to take it out on someone. And don’t forget, of course, that most books are rejected because they are simply not good enough to publish.

 

A writer is someone who writes. It sounds obvious, but many people who call themselves writers don’t produce enough words in a year to fill a postcard. Other writers churn out thousands of words but never sell their work. This book tackles both problems: it gets you writing, easily and painlessly guiding through the dreaded ‘writer’s block’; and it divulges industry secrets that will help you to raise the quality of your work to a professional level. Writing is a business like any other. Successful writers know the rules and conventions that make their work stand out from the rest of the ‘slush pile’ – rules that are revealed in this book to help launch your writing career. The author has 14 years experience in the publishing industry and has written more than 20 books that have been translated into 6 languages. He has also written for stage, film, television and radio.

Getting started 7 Part 1 Preparation for writing 10 Somewhere to write 11 Tools of the trade 13 Pen and paper 14 Computer 15 Back-ups 21 Should I give up the day job? 22 Think like a writer 24 Is it glamorous? 28 Part 2 Practicalities of writing 30 A daily schedule for a writer 31 Write every day 33 Write rubbish 37 Re-write 39 What constitutes a new draft? 42 An approximation of the whole work 44 A tightening of the structure 45 Development of the characters 48 Improving the dialogue 50 Working on the language and imagery 51 Re-structuring parts of the work 53 Adding layers of conflict 55 Improving the crucial opening pages 56 More work on the character development 59 Proofreading for mistakes 60 Be an expert 63 Develop a voice 63 Language, grammar and punctuation 64 Keep it interesting 65 Feedback 65 Finding inspiration 66 Beating writer’s block 72 Part 3 Technicalities of writing 73 Basics of writing a novel 74 Description 74 Characters 75 Plot structure 77 Basics of writing non fiction 80 Know your subject 80 Structure 82 Basics of writing for cinema 85 Basics of writing for television 87 Basics of writing for radio 89 Basics of writing for the stage 91 Basics of writing books for children 94 Basics of writing comedy 96 Sketches 97 One-liners 98 Sitcoms 99 Basics of writing for animation 106 Layout 108 Loglines, synopses, treatments & samples 110 Writing groups 112 Writing classes 114 Writing qualifications 115 Writing alone or writing with a partner? 117 Networking 118 Getting published 121 Publishing is a business 121 How to submit your manuscript 122 Research your market 125 Vanity publishing 126 Self publishing 128 Dealing with rejection 130 Dealing with doubt 136 Doubt from within 136 Doubt from others 138 Vocabulary 139 Competitions 140 Copyright protection 141 Agents 143 Do I need one? 143 How hard will they work for me? 143 How do royalties work? 144 Would I get royalties for the rest of my life? 146 Fixed fees 147 Are there others ways to earn money from a book? 148 Useful websites and software 152 Definitions 153

EDITING CREDITS
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Edited and contributed to at least 100 books by other writers, plus making positive publishing decisions on 300 books and rejecting 5,000 books.
Helped a further 100 authors to publish their own books by providing advice and publishing services.

WRITING CREDITS - FILM:
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Bricking It - feature film in development with Inner Productions, London
Just Married - 45 minute comedy film made for the Edinburgh Festival in 2001
My Prince - completed screenplay
The Sphinx Scrolls - completed screenplay
Culture Shock - screenplay in progress

WRITING CREDITS - TV:
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Pokemon - 14 episodes of series 6, currently airing on TV
Contributions to many UK television shows

WRITING CREDITS - RADIO
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Have A Pizza With Enrico Valdez - a one hour comedy show broadcast by Viva Radio.

WRITING CREDITS - STAGE:
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Confession - full length stage play performed at the Dylan Thomas Theatre, Swansea, 1990
Stand-up comedy routine for the Edinburgh Festival

WRITING CREDITS - BOOKS:
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The Little Book of Flirting
The Little Book of Chat-up Lines
The Little Book of Essential English Swear Words
How To Chat-up Babes
How To Chat-up Women
The Bumper Book of Chat-up Lines
Chat-up Lines and Put Downs
More Chat-up Lines and Put Downs
Ultimate Chat-up Lines and Put Downs
Enormous Boobs
Je t'aime - How to say 'I love you' in 100 languages
Love - 99 Ways to show you care
Don't Lean Out of the Window
Don't Mention The War
The Busker's Guide to Europe
How To Become A Millionaire
Help! I want to work for myself
Great Global Gaffes
De-Stress for Exams
Driving Test Tips
How To Be A Writer
How To Get Published
The Sphinx Scrolls

EDUCATION:
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Degree in English Literature

OTHER EXPERIENCE OR QUALIFICATIONS:
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More than 50 television appearances as guest expert on flirting and dating and as presenter. Books translated into 7 languages and sold around the world.

Website: http://www.stewartferris.com